Join me this month as I write a slice of my life each day this March and join many others sharing slices at twowritingteachers.com. My students will also be slicing this month and you can find links to their daily blogs HERE. 
Switching the soap from one hand to another, it slips from my grasp, and that's where the trouble starts. All I wanted to do was wash my other armpit, but instead, the last 10% of my bar of soap is accelerating at 9.8 meters per second squared, towards the floor of the tub. I reacted quickly, and made one of the almost best saves of all time, and instead ended up with this story. But first, you need a little background on me.
I drop things. Regularly. With amazing clumsiness and occasional skill. If you hang out with me for any extended period of time, you will soon realize that things around me have an extra affinity for gravity, especially if I have been holding them. But to tell the truth, it's not that I drop things so much, it's that I don't catch them...after tossing them.
It seems that students of speech/forensics are are all able to do all the cool pen twirls around their fingers. I apparently try to flip, toss or spin every object in my life. Some things that get flipped, spun or flung everyday include (roughly in the order of my day): the shampoo and conditioner, deodorant, hairbrush, spoons, occasionally dishes, shoes, keys, my phone, whiteboard markers, pens/pencils, milk cartons, books, small children (including my daughter Clara), light free weights, forks, knives, contact case, contact solution, and dozens of other things. With all these things flying around me, it's no wonder that a few of them hit the ground.
So, while some things do crater around me, and the occasional object gets broken, I also have dozens of small successes each day. Perhaps it was a behind-the-back grape toss into my mouth, or a three-and-a-half flip of the hairbrush complete with one-handed handle catch. I also make incredible saves that either end with me catching something that seemed "done for" or just blunting the impact by slowing it with my foot, so my phone doesn't hit the ground at full speed and break.
Back to the falling soap.
I stuck out my left foot and hit the soap back up into the air, just like a hacky sack player. The filament of soap rose straight up to chest level and with confidence, I snatched at it with my right hand. A minuscule miscalculation from eye to brain to hand led to the soap being hit over the shower doors, flying across the bathroom, bouncing off the wall and landing behind the toilet. Oh the agony of a defeat snatched from the jaws of improbable victory. Chagrinned, grinning and dripping, I gathered my dented soap and returned to washing my armpits.
Soap photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/soapylove/822138120/">soapylovedeb</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>
Wet Tiles photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/checoo/246078388/">checoo</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a>
OMGoodness, I giggled throughout this whole post. From one clumsy person to another, I can relate. Loved the humor and the way you see the positives in frustrating moments. Fun!
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS GREAT! Such as wonderful interpretation of something we all experience....every day!
ReplyDeleteI am plagued with the 'dropsies' syndrome right along with you, although I tend to drop the things on my 'To do' list and fumble to catch or pick them back up. Thanks for the post; I thoroughly enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteSuch a clever way to write about a common problem! I enjoyed reading this!
ReplyDeleteLove it, Max! And this "extra affinity for gravity". So glad you didn't mention catching Clara with your shoe!
ReplyDeleteThat video was truly intimidating! I am hopelessly uncordinated, max - so your case of the dropsies really resonates with me. Thanks for making me smile today!
ReplyDeleteYour last paragraph is crafted so artfully. Just loved it.
ReplyDeleteFor me it's not dropping things... it's walking into them!
-Stacey
ME TOO! I am always watching my soap land right in front of me and I don't want to get my hair wet so I often just fake the rest.
ReplyDeleteI like that you try to make one handed back flipped triple spin catches of your hairbrush. :) But really, I love both the writing and content of this post. It is so relatable. I, too, make many "almost best saves" (usually when playing catch).
ReplyDeleteI might be the only student who commented on this...drat. I like how you threw some humor into there with your vivid descriptions. Those crazy japanese people and their pencil tricks. I heard somewhere that asians get so good at stuff like that because it helps them relive stress before tests.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud when you hit armpit. A totally real and truly humorous post. I love it! The opening was stellar and the closing even more so.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading how you transformed this seemingly mundane task (retrieving the fallen soap bar to its rightful place) into such a delightful narrative and personal story! Thanks for sharing, Max!
ReplyDelete-Suparna
I actually found myself laughing out loud throughout this entire post, especially when you began to list off all of your flipping objects. You have an incredible voice which makes your words that much easier to relate to. Thanks for sharing!
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